Womb and Bored

Womb and Bored

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Shake it off... Shake it off...

Dear Special Snowflake,

I think it's time we get a couple things straight.  Mommy is stressed out.  Mommy is so stressed out that sometimes she wants to drink.  At noon.  At work.  Sometimes mommy has had a rough time balancing life.  And, mommy especially has a hard time balancing the assholes.

Because they are out there.  A lot of them.

It started in grade school.  I was a little overweight.  And my nose was a little pug.  My mom used to tell me it would keep me looking young. But girls on the playground aren't that kind.  They called me "Piglet".  And it spread.  And then the boys started calling me "Piglet".  And then I called myself "Piglet" because, well, if you can't beat them, join them, right?

And then there was middle school.  I was funny.  And not all girls are accepting of that.  We had a neighborhood pool, and the girls at the pool started calling me "Wrinkles".  My stomach had wrinkles.  (Jesus, if they could see it now they'd have some serious fucking ammunition).

And then there was high school.  Where still I was funny, but no one noticed, because I was surrounded by beautiful people.  And people were mean, particularly girls, and my looks were criticized.  And I started to shut down.  And eventually I wasn't funny, because I was too insecure.

And that insecurity lived for a while.  Really, until I became a mother and I realized that NO ONE will ever make my daughter feel like that.  And if I don't teach her to stand up for herself and that she is enough, I'm afraid she, too, will be afraid to be who she is.

Just recently, one of my friends called me, and we discussed how easy it is to be sucked back into high school or middle school or grade school.  How being left out still hurts.  How it's hard not to compare ourselves to other people and their social media likes or comments.  We are mother-fucking adults.  Why is it still so hard?

And the reason it's still hard, is because mean girls still exist.  Even as we get older.  If you don't believe me, Google it.  I mean, there's actually a book out there called "Working with Bitches:  Identify the Eight Types of Office Mean Girls and Rise Above Workplace Nastiness".  And even worse, I've contemplated buying it.  MORE. THAN. ONCE.  And why?  Because, mean girls turn into meaner women and unfortunately they're everywhere...at my children's school, on the soccer field, at my job.

Fuck.  I like being liked.  I always have.  It drives me crazy when people don't like me.  But my adult self also realizes that some women can't handle their own insecurities.  So instead of doing something about it, they tear others down.  They gossip.  They manipulate.  They insult.  They public-shame.  My question is...Why can't they just fucking step up and take care of their own insecurities?  I know there's not an app for that.  And technically Pinterest can only help us so much.  But, we are grown ass women capable of doing so many things.  Why do we use our platform in a way that takes us back to a junior high dance?

I guess my optimism had me fooled into thinking that once I was done with school, I would trade my diploma for a world filled with nice women who build each other up.  Unfortunately, I was mistaken. The bitches with their gossip and betrayals have only been freed to roam the world at nauseam.

And.  I'm not going to stop them.  I'm not.  But I do need to do something.

As Lindsay Lohan states in the work of art Mean Girls..."Calling somebody else fat won't make you skinnier.  Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter...  All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you."

(Yes, I'm fucking 40 and I just quoted Lindsay Lohan.  So. What.)

So, how do we solve it?

Well, I don't have a magical solution.  I just know that if I don't brainstorm some constructive ways I will end up saying something really, really terrible that will potentially get me sued or fired or incarcerated.  So...  here goes...

Surround yourself with badass women who build you up rather than tear you down  
There are tons of great women out there doing great things.  Don't waste your time on the assholes with no originality, enthusiasm and/or drive whose only strength is tearing you down.  Find those women who are smart.  Who tell you you're pretty.  Who tell you your butt looks good in those jeans.

Disengage
Fuck it.  That bitch ain't worth your time.

Work harder
Sorry she sucks and is mad that you don't.  Don't waste time and energy telling other people how bad she sucks or you become the worst thing ever.  HER.  Instead, focus on continuing to kick ass like the mother fucking rhino you are.  She'll hate that.

Leave that bitch alone
She wants to know she's under your skin.  Remember.  She is a business transaction.  Take your emotion out.

Make eye contact
Your eyes are way prettier than those soulless pupils hiding behind the girl with the pretty face but the ugly heart.

If you witness it, step in
All too often, we get sucked in.  We rewind to the days on the playground and we crave fitting in.  But nothing feels as good as standing up for those who need it.  And there's plenty of women who get persecuted just for being good at what they do.  Stand up for those women.  Shut the mean girls down.

And if all else fails, in the words of one of the world's most esteemed philosophers...

Shake it off...  Shake it off...
Because you, my sweet, are a mother fucking tiger who has earned her stripes.

So, take those stones she throws at you and build something fantastic.  And make her REALLY mad by not even using Pinterest to create it.

We owe it to our girls to look these mean girls straight in the eye and give them a wink.

























No comments:

Post a Comment